What do I want?

Conundrum

Last summer I had the brilliant idea to create a massive to-do list that I could refer back to when my days started seeming listless. Yes, I am, sadly, the type of person who feels the need to structure her leisure time. I am not a control freak, just really, really indecisive and anxious. Without direction, I am liable to find some mindless activity (currently a rotation of browsing Facebook, Bloglovin, and Pinterest), perform it for hours straight, skip meals or eat junk, and forget to take showers or brush my teeth. Surely you can see the need to avoid this situation if possible, right?

Last year's plan worked beautifully. I went back to school feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a new year. For whatever reason, I didn't quite apply that idea again this year. For the most part, I've kept myself busy, but I have kind of just randomly chosen projects, which sometimes leaves me feeling overwhelmed or at a loss for what to do next. When I haven't fully committed to something in some tangible way (like writing or typing it on a to-do list), it has a tendency to just rattle around in my brain, causing me anxiety. 

For this reason, I have decided to write an end-of-the-summer to-do list today. I am back at work on August 4, and I am going to do my best to use these last few weeks wisely productively happily. To help me reach this goal (and increase my overall sense of well-being), I've made a few decisions.

Revelations

1. I really don't care about doing craft tutorials, and I am pretty sure I suck at writing them anyway. Therefore, all stress, guilt or anxiety related to said imaginary posts shall be eliminated. Forever.
2. This blog is for me. I have absolutely no obligation to try to make it popular, write regular posts, or do things to interest other people. It's my happy place, so it also will no longer cause me any stress, guilt, or anxiety.
3. I want to keep blogging, and more specifically, I want to keep building The Everyday Celiac. My weekly posts may not be stellar, but they have some merit, and I did a great job on the stand-alone pages. Overall, it has the potential to be a relatively useful resource for people who are newly diagnosed with celiac disease, and it has already made it easier for me to share my knowledge with "friends of a friend" who are new to the gluten-free world. I got really sick of writing 1500 word e-mails about being gluten-free every couple of months, but I loved helping other people in my situation. That's why I created the blog in the first place.
4. I want to improve my home improvement skills, and more importantly, my home improvement confidence. As a result, I MUST complete those simple projects that have been hanging over my head since last summer and no longer let Derek's interest level hold me back.
5. Brannon is important to me, and he is bored. I need to build in some out-of-the-box, active play for him and or involve him in my activities as much as possible. It's not so much that time is fleeting or that he is miserable, as that he needs deserves a playmate, and I absolutely have time for him.
6. Being creative makes me happy, but only if I do it on my own terms. I've got to stop choosing projects in order to prove something to others. If it doesn't fit my tastes and I am unlikely to make it as a gift, I don't need to pin it.
7. K.I.S.S.: Keep it simple stupid.
8. Let go of just in case and free your life of mental, physical, and emotional clutter. Let go of what no longer matters TO YOU and hold on to what you really care about.

The End-of-Summer Bucket List 2014

If an item has been striked out, then it moved from "to-do" and became a "to done." ; )

1. Remove any irrelevant items from the 2013 Summer To-Do List
2. Install a clothes line on the back porch (even if I never use it)
3. Repair closet door & install new knob
4. Hang first black storage box in craft room
5. Buy supplies for 2nd and 3rd black storage boxes in craft room
6. Hang 2nd and 3rd black storage boxes in craft room
7. Re-organize kids art supplies in craft room
8. Paint the wall patches in Brannon's room
9. Sew something using Goodwill fabric
10. Order Brannon's fourth Shutterfly book
11. Review, revise and edit at least one or two Odyssey study guides
12. Purge project drawer & boxes of toddler stuff in craft room closet
13. Wash the car with Brannon
14. Create a family chore list & start implementing it
15. Buy a dog tag with our information on it
16. Try at least two new recipes
1. something with fresh blueberries (Blueberry Snack Cake via Pinterest)
2. something with shrimp OR Thai noodles
17. Bake cookies at least once
18. Identify 2 or 3 specific activities to do with Brannon before school starts
1. Paint & hang birdhouse
2. Make kindergarten count-down paper chain
3. Visit "kid water fountain" at least once more
4. Go to Diamondbacks game (Uncle Devin's treat!)
19. Visit the temple at least three times
1. Amy's endowment
2. Jaren's & Amy's sealing
3. Endowment session with the quad
20. Wrap gifts for Amy & Shailyn
21. Choose format & organize pictures for Brannon's 5th photo book
22. Complete two more posts for The Everyday Celiac
1. Coconut-Lime Quinoa Salad recipe review
2. Can I be a [gluten-free] foodie?
23. Wash both couch slipcovers
24. Sew green chevron pillow cover

End-of-Summer Goals for 2014

Originally, I listed these items as part of the bucket list, but then I remembered how bummed out I get when I can't simply cross out ongoing items like these. Hopefully, by keeping them separate, that frustration won't be a problem.

• Work on temple altar cloth for at least 45 minutes each day
• Play with Brannon at least 20 minutes every day
• Include Brannon in my activities whenever possible
• Get more active & include Doc, Derek & Brannon
• Enjoy my creativity & encourage Brannon's as well
• Work on Brannon's kindergarten prep book
• Continue having low-key Family Home Evenings

Getting The Most Out Of 2014

One of my favorite bloggers, Kim at Newly Woodwards, has made an awesome habit of making two monthly posts--one that outlines her goals for the month and another that shares how she did. Considering how busy and awesome she is, I find it pretty inspiring that she still finds the time and motivation to try to be a little bit better than she was the day before.

Ever since I started following her blog, I have been inspired to take stock of the little things I can do to work a little harder to ensure that my priorities (namely, my family) and my decisions (namely, how much I work) are actually aligned. Which brings me to my New Year's resolution:

Taking back my leisure time

It may sound corny, and vaguely reminiscent of a Justin Timberlake song, but it is by far the most important thing I could do for my own mental health and for the sake of my family. A few months ago, I took this oh-so-characteristic picture of my adorable dog:

I call it "Saturday," and shortly after taking it, I realized that my Saturdays almost never look like this. In fact, they typically involve me locking myself in my combination craft room/office so I can spend the day grading, annotating texts, and/or creating new instructional materials--none of which I get paid extra for. For a long time, I thought I was okay with this...and then winter break came. And I relaxed. And I crafted. And I raked the leaves in my front yard. And. I. DIDN'T. work. And I had a realization: it's time for me to relax when I'm supposed to relax, work when I'm supposed to work, and not feel guilty about it!

Here's my plan:

1. Leave work at work
   We are two weeks into the new semester, and so far I have been able to do just that. My contract day ends at 3:30, and I am regularly at school until 5:30 (for a variety of reasons), but when I leave, I leave everything. No grading, no reading, no making materials when I'm not on campus.
   
2. Choose hobbies over TV
   In the past month I have crocheted three hats, sewed a quilt top, completed a painting I have been pondering for months, and watched minimal TV. How do I feel about that? Absolutely brilliant! I get sucked into TV because I assume I am "supposed" to watch TV when I want to relax, but it is really completing projects and gaining a sense of accomplishment that help me truly unwind.
   
3. "Earn" my free time
   I tend to "freeze up" when I am torn between what I "should" do (clean the house, do laundry, etc.) and what I want to do (sew, paint, read, etc.). To break the stalemate, I decided to look at chores as a way to "earn" guilt-free time to enjoy my projects. This was especially helpful during winter break, when I had nothing but my own decisions to structure my time.
   
4. Chunk it out
   Did you know it's okay to work on a project a little at a time? Apparently, I did not--until recently. A brilliant colleague of mine shared a trick she learned to beat the essay-grading blues: set a timer for 15 minutes, grade until the timer goes off, and then repeat the process if you feel up for it. I highly recommend this strategy for any chores you particularly hate doing...like folding laundry. Shudder.
   
5. Listen to my sonKids deserve our time, especially if they happen to be an only child, like my little guy. When he asks me to play baseball in the backyard, get his box of puzzles down, or play Zingo with him, I try to comply--even if it pulls me away from something that seems more important. In his life, nothing is more important than quality time with his parents.
   
6. Forgive myself when I mess up
   I know I am going to slip up now and then, but the whole goal of this resolution is to have less stress in my life--not more. If something doesn't go the way I want, I will get back on the wagon as soon as I can.

A few Sundays ago, I bore my testimony during Relief Society, which is the women's group at my church. I spoke of how I love my church because it focuses on being more like Christ--better today than we were yesterday--without demanding or expecting perfection--and I can do better. THIS is me doing better.